My Quest to Find My Waist

Well, its been a year since I joined BuddySlim, joined a Yoga/Tai Chi center, and began taking salsa lessons.  I did all of that last April because I was determined to do something to change my life.  12 months later and I am nowhere near where I wanted to be after a full 12 months, but that is no one’s fault but my own. I have probably lost about 40 or 50 lbs but its been a yo-yo thing, you know? Lose 5, gain 3, lose 2, gain 1 and so on and so on and so on.  But there has been some progress made and I am going to celebrate those successess.

In the last 7 years I have gained 26 lbs.  It only took me a year to lose 21 of them.

I have kept 10 lbs off for more than 6 months.

I have kept 15 lbs off for more than 9 months.

I have had to replace all of my pants because they are too big.

I can bend over and touch my toes.

I can get through a 45 mn workout video.

I don’t make a fast food plan of attack everytime I have a week off.

I can do 4 dance classes in one day. (but it kills the feet)

I ask to get weighed at the doctor’s office instead of trying to pretend that the scale doesn’t exist.

I don’t have these little bouts of self-hatred that come with what we all consider “bad” eating.  Even if I eat “badly” I know how to come back from that. (Although, that took almost a year to learn.)

I don’t run straight to food, when I’m feeling down. (Sometimes I stop and think about it and then eat the food, but that is less and less nowadays, but the desire is still there.)

I am less stressed.  My shoulder and neck muscles are not so knotty.

My calves look awesome and I have less lumps in my thighs.

I can dance salsa. (and a littl bachata)

I dance in front of people: in group classes, in clubs and bars. (And let me tell you, that’s a freakin’ miracle!)

The spare tire around my waist looks like it has a slow leak: it gets smaller and smaller and smaller.

And the best thing of all…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I AM HAPPIER THAN I’VE BEEN IN YEARS AND I FEEL BETTER THAN I’VE FELT IN YEARS!!!!!!!!

As I was responding to someone’s forum, I realized that I have a plateau coming up. After 6 weeks of dieting, exercising or both, I generally tend to stop and revert to old habits. Even if I am doing well. In the past 10 years I have lost over 80 lbs. But after those first 6 weeks, no matter how much weight I have lost, I make that negative turn around. So in about 4 weeks I will need all of the motivation you can give to not give up. 4 weeks from now school will be over and I will need to do more that sit on my bum in front of the TV. I was good last summer. I did water aerobics and I had a personal trainer at the gym, and I lost 20 lbs. In October I injured my knee and couldn’t work out, I gained all of that back. I just want to keep going past the 6 week mark.

I kept seeing everybody talking about white stars and red stars and I was like “Huh?” What are these stars and who gives them out? Then I noticed that I had one that said 5lbs. That’s pretty cool! Go me!

Years ago my BFF and I decided to take salsa lessons because it was something we had both always wanted to do.  The unexpected benefit was how great it made me feel.  Yeah, it was awkward at first and my instructor could have been a bit more understanding, seeing as how both E. and I are women of size.  However, while whirling and twirling around the dance floor, I would have a gigantic grin on my face.  It also made me want to go to the gym to have more stamina for the lessons.  So, tomorrow I have an appointment for a mini-lesson at a new studio.  I hope its still as much fun as I remember.

A second unexpected benefit that I have discovered is that of friends who don’t walk as fast as I do.  So I have to do double the workout on the days that I walk with her. That way she doesn’t feel like she is holding back, and I still get in all of my aerobic points for that day. (Any ORU graduates out there? Ya’ll know about aerobic points.)

Years ago when I was on the 6 Week Body Makeover a bunch of us were discussing how we could not stay off of the scale. We dubbed ourselves the Scale Ho’s. For the first few days of this new diet, I had no desire to get on the scale, but about 4 days into the diet when I felt that difference in my body, I wanted to get on the scale. I was supposed to stay off for 9 days. I made it to 6. Then I decided to wait again until 7 days after that. Didn’t make it. I even got on it again before that 9th day. I haven’t been on since saturday, but everytime I go to the bathroom, I have to fight with myself not to get on that scale. I know that I went off of my eating plan this weekend and I didn’t even get back on until lunchtime yesterday, so I can’t have lost any weight, but that still doesn’t stop me from wanting to get on the scale. I hear Leslie Sansone in my head saying “Come on, you want to see the work you’ve done.” (If you do Walk Away the Pounds, then you know that voice, because she never shuts up.)

So, apparently I am still a Scale Ho.  Put a scale in front of me and I will jump on it.  It is a horrible addiction.  Do you think there is a 12 Step for people like me.  [A cynic would say that since I only want to weigh myself when I think I’m losing weight, then the obvious answer would be to stop losing weight.]  Eh! Not gonna happen.  Not until goal.

I guess until then, Scale Ho’s Unite.

Thanx to all of my buddies and all of the other buddyslimmers out there. Trying to lose weight is a war, and usually fought by a single soldier at a time. Using this site for support, challenges, inspiration and friendships makes each of us an army of one (sorry for stealing that). We have new tools and an endless supply of ideas. We know that even though we struggle alone for a time, there will always be emotional backup at the click of a mouse. (This is not coming out the way I want it, but I’m sure you get the idea.) Have a great day, all.

Ever since Wednesday, my diet went on a downward spiral, and last night it was non-existent. Today, I am sick to my stomach and I have a headache, and I know that it’s because of 6 1/2 days of good healthy food followed by 2 1/2 days of bad-for-me food, in bad-for-me sized portions. I have acid reflux and other unmentionable ailments, and I just want to hurl. So today its a diet of saltines and ginger ale, and tomorrow I’m getting back on track (if my stomach allows). I’m going to restart the detox phase. Its supposed to last 9 days and I only made to 6 1/2, so I’m going to start at the beginning. Luckily, I’m on vacation for the next 8 days so that should help.

Weekly goal:

Walk every day

Hit the gym 3-4 times this week for some weight training

Drink lots of water

Celebrate me! Yay! I’m beautiful!

Celebrate all my Buddies! Yay! You are all so beautiful!!!

Celebrate the Heartbreakers! YAY! Go all you beautiful ‘breakers!

(Funny, I don’t feel so awful anymore.)

-Bye

Well its time to see if I can practice what I preach.  While I did resist stopping for ice cream, there were other challenges to be met yesterday, and I was not victorious.  I lost that (those) battles, but the war wages on.  So, no beating myself up, no morning cookie since last night was a bust, but dang those cookies look soooooo goooooood. But no–I did not and I will not, because THEY ARE STILL HERE!!!!  There used to be a time when you couldn’t keep a batch of cookies here for more that a few hours.  Now with me and my sister watching what we eat, she’s eating them so slowwwwwly.  Oh the torture!

Anywho, today has been good so far. Or as good as it could be since I didn’t prepare a lunch last night.  Still I made it through the day on plan.  I just ate a good hunk of watermelon and am meeting my BFF for a walk in the park in 45mns.  After today I can stop working out for a couple of days, but I will probably only take off one day so I can have another day off sometime later in the week.  Since I started on a Thursday, its really weird.  Another trial that I didn’t pass was waiting to weigh in till Saturday.  I lost 5 pounds.  Yeah me!  That makes me happy. And on that note I will go change into my workout clothes and try to plan a lesson for tomorrow.

I hate to exercise and I hate to diet. Its pretty much a given then that I usually do one or the other. So I’m supposed to work out 5xs a week. Today is day 3 and I have yet to get moving. I am sitting here on my couch doing everything I can think of to not go and take a walk or do a wkout vid. So I am hereby challenging myself to get up off the couch and do something. Either walk down the block or drive over to the park, or walk away the lbs. I also hereby challenge myself to workout every day until Wednesday. Go Tres! You, me, I can do it! Go! Go! Go!

I’m gone.