Trying to See Myself
I rejoined the gym today. Its been a year since I had a membership. I am not doing yoga and tai chi anymore, so maybe I’ll make better use of my gym membership this time around. I signed up for two personal training sessions with a woman who lost 103 lbs. If she could do it, I can do it, right? I am still having trouble with actually believing that I can do this. I can’t visualize myself as a person who is not overweight. I have been overweight for 30 years. I have been 200+ for the last 18 years. I have been at an unhealthy weight, compared to my peers, for practically all of my life. I can’t visualize what I’ve never been. I am not giving up though. I lost 30 lbs, and have kept 25 of them off. I would like to lose another 25 by the end of 2009. I would like to lose more than that, but am trying to keep it real. (Actually, considering that it took me 13 months to lose 30, 25 more in 4 months is NOT keeping it real, is it? Still–its a goal, a target…something to shoot for.) If I only lose 20, I’ll be overjoyed. If I lose 10 I’ll be happy with that too. However, if I lose the 25, I will be over the moon. People keep telling me how great I look, and while I can see some difference, its not enough for me to be like, “yeah, I look good.” I have done something good, though and am proud of myself for it. I just wish I had a way to help me ’see’ what I might look like. I tried that ‘virtual me’ thing and frankly, it just doesn’t get big enough to represent me, so I can’t see that the ‘me’ that I really look like can ever look like the ‘virtual me’ at my goal weight. That was convoluted, huh? Anyway, I am looking forward to the fall. I tend to lose weight best during this time of year. Its the keeping it off that I need to work on.
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I loved your blog today! It was so inspiring. It sounds like you are on a great track, doing things the right way and making awesome progress. Its so awesome that you joined the gym! You’re doing amazing, I hope you are giving yourself all the credit you deserve!
Yay, a gym membership
The trainer ought to be awesome since she has lost 103 lbs herself.
I am sure she won’t take any excuses either, so maybe that will be a good thing.
Your goal of 25 lb by the end of the year is doable, that is about 1.5 lbs a week. If you stay focused you CAN do that, will you let yourself??
I read a tip not too long ago. Take a full length picture of yourself from the side and front, print them out. Now, take a sharpe marker and draw yourself thin, over your picture. Sculpt your body and that can be your goal picture.
Maybe that will work for you
You do deserve some kudo’s 25 lbs gone is GREAT, it doesn’t matter how long it took you. I know you will see the next 25 gone too
Keep up the great work.
BTW, let us know how your trainer is after you have your session with her.
Congrats on the gym membership! Hey rather than look at the whole picture, take is a step at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Yes you CAN do it. Believe it.
Sounds like that trainer is meant for you! I always do better when I know that person has been in the same boat as me. It’s hard to be trained by someone who’s always weighed 125 and they have no idea where I am coming from.
Just go for your goals Tink!!! If you are not at the exact weight you are wanting to be, at least you will be thinner anyways, which will make you feel great!!! You can do it!!
I think getting the gym membership and the trainer is def. two steps in the right direction. Take it week by week if you get muddled up in the big picture. Like, how much weight do you want to lose this week? Good luck!
My gosh Tink….maybe you’ll be a trainer someday. Like you said, if she can….so can you. Yay for you. Have fun, keep dancing.