tinkcabell

It’s three days into the new week and I haven’t done a thing but eat. My brother visited for the weekend, brought me some germs, but didn’t take them home when he left. They have now found a new host body–mine. My nose is stuffy, my throat is scratchy, and I have a nagging sort of headache. I don’t want to do anything but curl up somewhere, but I really want to continue on losing weight. I really want to hit 10 lbs. That means I have 4 to go. I don’t expect to lose all 4 this week, but I was kind of hoping for 2. If I go to all of my workouts this week, I might make it, but…can one do yoga with a runny nose? I was looking forward to doing a Tai Chi class this week too. I’ll see what’s going on at the center when I get off work. If I drive over there but still don’t feel like working out, I’ll get a manicure next door. =+)

I kept seeing everybody talking about white stars and red stars and I was like “Huh?” What are these stars and who gives them out? Then I noticed that I had one that said 5lbs. That’s pretty cool! Go me!

When I was seven,
I looked to heaven
and dreamed
of going to the moon
but pretty soon
somebody came along
to change
my tune.
They put me down.
Bang! There my dream lay
on the ground.
Thank God, eventually
I came around
and dreamed
another dream.

At first, it seemed
a good idea to hide it,
confide it
to absolutely no one.
But that was no fun,
besides, I realized
I couldn’t. The joy it gave me
just wouldn’t
be stopped up. It popped up
at the most
inconvenient times,
effervesced
in all of my rhymes.
But, hey! Joy is not a crime, though
some people
make it seem so.
Does anybody here know what I mean?
You share your dream
and right away
people laugh,
try to dissuade you,
do what they can to
plant a seed of doubt.
Listen: you’ve got to
root it out,
laugh last, push past,
pursue. Be you–
whoever that is–
And don’t look back.
Don’t look back.
Don’t look back.
And if you move,
remember: Pack your dreams.
They’re portable.
________________________________________________________________________________

How many times have you told someone about your latest decision to go on a diet, to exercise more, to go back to school. to change careers and have them laugh it off, or laugh at you? Having the people you love be unsupportive or actively working against you is one of the worst things that can happen. But the worst thing that can happen is if we give up on what we want. We have to have no doubts about what it is we want and that we can indeed achieve it. We have to accept the fact that there will be setbacks, but then we pick ourselves up, dust oursselves off, and dream another dream.

There was a time, when I couldn’t pass a mirror without looking in it. It was a sign of insecurity because I was overweight, but I had to keep making sure that my face was still cute. Now, I can hardly stand to look into any mirror these days. But now I take dance lessons. In front of a WALL OF MIRRORS. The first day, I did everything I could not to look at myself. The second day, I looked at my self a little, but concentrated mostly on my feet. The third day, I worked up the nerve to watch myself dance–from head to feet. You know what I saw? Me having fun. Laughing and joking around with my instructor, without feeling self-conscious. At least not too self-conscious to have all that fun. That’s a sight I haven’t seen in a long time.

The more dancing I do, the more exercises I do–these things will bring out the me that I want to see in the mirror, and I’m not just talking about my body. I have lost so much by letting my fat rule my life. Looking in mirrors is just one of the many things that I have stopped doing over the years. I don’t go on trips, I don’t hang out with friends. Can’t even remember the year of my last date. I do not want to wind up as the old fat lady with cats. Even if I end up alone at the end of my life and have a house full of cats, at least I can be the thin and healthy crazy cat lady.

Fatties Fuel Climate, Too

Obesity contributes to global warming, too. Obese and overweight people require more fuel to transport them and the food they eat, a team at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine says. This adds to food shortages and higher energy prices, the school’s researchers Phil Edwards and Ian Roberts write today in the journal Lancet.

Promotion of a normal weight would reduce the global demand for, and thus the price of, food”, they wrote.

I am not sure what to think of this article. How about ya’ll?

I have gained back all of the weight I had lost and probably more besides.  I have been on a 2 1/2 week eating binge.  I can’t remeber the last time I even looked at a vegetable.  I drank my first bottle of water yesterday (that wasn’t a chocolate chaser).  I ate a pear today, but can’t remember the last time I had fruit.  Oh wait! Yesterday! I’m not all bad!  Anyway, I am trying to get back on track.  I had fruit today, I brought my lunch to work. I’m planning a big salad with a moderate portion of pasta, and lots of water.  I have been trying to help put together a talent show, so I’ve been staying at school late and getting here early.  None of the teacher’s in my academy are interested in doing anything to help, so most of it has fallen on me, but I am not the original planner and have been working on limited information, so its hard.

Not that that is any excuse. I am not a loser and I have not been a good buddy. But the worst part is that I did not give any of you the opportunity to support me. I’m not used to that. So…I’m sorry: to all my buddies, to the Heartbreakers, and to all of out there in BuddySlimland. Please forgive me.