tinkcabell

I was watching America’s Best Dance Crew the other day and I was wondering what it must be like to have a body that does whatever you want it to. Even when I was thin, I was very uncoordinated. I have never completed a successful cartwheel. I would like to be able to do a cartwheel before I die.

There is this one move that I saw on the show and on the Olympic trials called an air flare. It is so cool. Have you ever seen male gymnastics floor routines. When the guys flare their legs and roll on their shoulders. Well an air flare is the same move without the shoulder roll. The move is air borne. So hot! Now, I know that I will never be able to air flare, but I can’t wait until I have more control over my body than it has over me.

p5170024-1.JPGI know that I, like many of us, come on here and whine and complain and just plain ‘fess up when we mess up, but I don’t want all of my buddies to think that that is all I do. I want to share my up moments as well as seek commiseration for my downs. My weight loss isn’t going the way I want it, but other areas of my life are looking up.

I mentioned that I had started a yoga/tai chi class. Well, for the most part I do the yoga because tai chi conflicts with my salsa class. Well, it is working. I have lost inches around my waist and I can now bend over and buckle up my dancing shoes without having to hide my contortions in the studio bathroom. I can also almost do the second breathing pose without wanting to curse out the instructor. (smile) Its a small accomplishment, but its mine and it means a lot to be able to do something that most people can do without having to hide in the bathroom.

Several of you have commented on my new pic. That was a fun day. I took my two young cousins to the city (Manhattan, for the non-New Yorkers). Just me, them and a handful of directions from HopStop.com. We went to see a play by an all-children drama company in midtown. It was impressive, those kids were talented. Then we went downtown to South Street Seaport and rode a boat called the Shark. It went very fast.

Today, my family and I are taking my brother’s girlfriend, who is visiting from Japan to Madame Toussaud’s wax museum. I’ve been there before, but its a lot of fun. So you see, I am living life and enjoying it. I am not cooped up in the house, too embarrassed to go out and let people see the shape I have become. That’s not a healthy attitude and I am fighting it as often as I can.

Part of my problem is that I think I can just wish the fat away. Or that 5 weeks of working out will make 100 lbs. disappear. So I am going to set a reasonable goal. My birthday is at the end of this month. So by the first of August, I want to have lost 8 lbs. That’s a goal of 2 lbs. a week. And if I don’t make it, I will not beat myself up, or give up, or come crying to BS. I will simply report my success or failure, set my new goal and keep on trucking.

I think I am coming to a realization. A really real realization that if I don’t learn to control what I put in my mouth, I am never going to lose this weight. It all comes back down to food. I was eating some pasta and tuna last night, thinking that it was a fairly healthy meal, when my sister pointed out that white flour pasta was basically a bowl of sugar. And she was right. I know that. I think I tend to think in terms of worst case alternatives. “Well, its not fast food, so its ok to eat.”

I want to say that I will just concentrate on working out, and leave the food issue for later, but I know in my heart that that is not the answer. I don’t plan my meals, ever, and that is a major hindrance. I am not a planner, though. I am a fly by seat of my pants kind of gal, and because of that a normal sized family could probably fit in them. Eating right and exercising are the two things that I hate most in this world, but if I don’t get a handle on it, I can kiss my ‘Wants’ list goodbye.

Since I have been working out on a regular basis, my skin has gotten so smooth. I’m not just talking about my face, but all over my body. I used to have lots of bumps on my bum, but now its so smooth. I use a lot less body cream than I used to. I have also noticed a reduction in cellulite. My thighs are not as cottage cheesy as they used to be. I mean, I’m still not about to wear booty shorts or anything, but its a nice change. =+)

“And I heave a huge-normous sigh of relief.” I can’t remember the last time the end of the year was so hectic, but then again, I usually don’t have to move rooms, and I usually don’t go to the end term party, and we don’t usually have a field day event. But it is all over now for the next 60 days, my life is my own. (Give or take a week or so when I will allow my family to bask in my presence.)

OK: about my weight loss journey.

I have been doing the yoga and tai chi and salsa classes which amounts to about 3-4 hours a week, plus I do walk away the pounds at home, at least lately. So I have been losing inches. The reason I have not been losing pounds is because is because I have been eating like a 16 year old. Not a lot, but just not very well. Ok, sometimes a lot. But I am going to try out a lot of new recipes this summer, dust off the old low-fat cookbooks, try to find some vegetables that don’t make me gag. And work on my portion control which is pretty much non existent. Oh yeah, I pretty much stopped drinking water, so I’m guzzling as I write this. (Wouldn’t you know it–my new classroom is even farther from the bathroom. I just can’t catch a break with this water thing.)

Also, I have to buy a new scale. My current one lies. =+)

As I was responding to someone’s forum, I realized that I have a plateau coming up. After 6 weeks of dieting, exercising or both, I generally tend to stop and revert to old habits. Even if I am doing well. In the past 10 years I have lost over 80 lbs. But after those first 6 weeks, no matter how much weight I have lost, I make that negative turn around. So in about 4 weeks I will need all of the motivation you can give to not give up. 4 weeks from now school will be over and I will need to do more that sit on my bum in front of the TV. I was good last summer. I did water aerobics and I had a personal trainer at the gym, and I lost 20 lbs. In October I injured my knee and couldn’t work out, I gained all of that back. I just want to keep going past the 6 week mark.

I feel like I should blog something, but I can’t think of anything I want or need to talk about. I am still here though. I was sick all of last week so maybe I just need to get back into my groove.

It’s three days into the new week and I haven’t done a thing but eat. My brother visited for the weekend, brought me some germs, but didn’t take them home when he left. They have now found a new host body–mine. My nose is stuffy, my throat is scratchy, and I have a nagging sort of headache. I don’t want to do anything but curl up somewhere, but I really want to continue on losing weight. I really want to hit 10 lbs. That means I have 4 to go. I don’t expect to lose all 4 this week, but I was kind of hoping for 2. If I go to all of my workouts this week, I might make it, but…can one do yoga with a runny nose? I was looking forward to doing a Tai Chi class this week too. I’ll see what’s going on at the center when I get off work. If I drive over there but still don’t feel like working out, I’ll get a manicure next door. =+)

I kept seeing everybody talking about white stars and red stars and I was like “Huh?” What are these stars and who gives them out? Then I noticed that I had one that said 5lbs. That’s pretty cool! Go me!